Down, down, down
lay me down in the garden of evil
beneath waning moon
let night chill our flesh
silence the days complaint
with songs of wildlife consorts.
We become real
when the artificial world
number sequence falls away
to stretching of bones
and dancing of skin suits
claw, fang, fur exposed.
I morph into golden eyed sphinx
my false knight wields
stolen spear and shield.
Shall I grant entrance
devour lie as riddle complete
avert my gaze, continue ignore
truths of our tangled situation?
Love Letter To My Sisters
I am malfunctioning sponge
soaking up toxins
absorbing poison
ignoring vital functions
willfully neglecting
conversion and conservation
distributing bad medicine
to my skeleton
I am not circulating antibodies
to supporting structures.
I am exposing my dirty hands
knee jerk reacting
centering myself
in a universe
of untold multitudes of suns
each emitting brightly
celestial bodies throwing
her own shadows
on opposing planetary bodies
satellites dancing
constellation choreography
it is unfair, but also fair
for how can I be Sister
if only celebrating the expansion
while disregarding the contraction?
Best case scenario
when splashdown occurs
are our wounds transforming
into faint reminders
spectral pain transmuting us
into Alchemist Survivors.
My once traveling companions
moving in different orbits
know I am not following
empty space between us growing
my love hanging between the stars
will be forever visible.
She’s Such A Tool
Let’s dissect spiraling out
what it means to only me
not crashing out
not lashing out
not the definition of an aficionado
this is all about
riding the infinite wave
of possibility and potentiality
dampening my chakras
escaping spirit snaring web
observing it spinning
via my third eye
letting go of little monsters calculating
escaping the cave
searching for light
slipping a ring
on one finger
another
and another
bleeding
believing
gold is power
I’m diverging from the path
others are meandering on
I’m
bending
breathing
as it comes
I’m
bigger than
ring or finger
cave and light
this is my understanding
or misunderstanding
of embracing randomness
spiraling out
I’m not over analyzing
it’s a momentary thought.
Dear Heart
Ravenous greedy Hunter
camouflage scent masking spray
crouching in a blind
not daring twitch a muscle
or scratch that maddening itch
ears listening for proof of life
insulated layers keeping out cold
just.
Where’s the justice in this lust?
Not hungering for meat
on the hock,
not requiring skin for blanket
or tent.
Leaving bloody gore
outlining in chalk
decadence of a kill wasted
in the time of want.
Carving out a lone trophy
marking today’s date as holiday
on the celebration list.
Caressing in a naked palm
with neon orange glove removed
reclaiming holy relic
for the glorious church of one.
Weighing while contemplating
its infuriating pulsation
devoid of body and mind
beating on in rebellious fashion.
Growling at its insistence
despite the gnashing of incisors.
Was It satisfying dear heart?
How big is the empty
haunting your woods?
Cycles
Opening wide to receive
living things
brown, green
vining ivy
insect, leaf
chipping paint flake by flake.
Controlling fire to inspire
ecosystem restorations
ember, ash
decaying flora
disease, grass
prescribing burns to heal damage.
Sweeping earth to undress
prehistoric foundations
spiral, fossil
drilling bits
oil, sludge
propagating roots in substratum.
Milky Way Gazing
Listening to post-punk dream pop
thinking about you
think you don’t deserve my time
and not this music
but on the chorus I get warm
thinking about you
think you’ve the sweetest smile
pretty alligator crocodile
thinking about you
think you are a guaranteed lizard
diamond eyed reptile
listening to neo-psychedelia alt
thinking about you
think you’re still on my mind
and tip of tongue
but I’m on neither of yours.
98 Or 99
Moth burned by candle flame
mammoth jaw snapped tight
I can’t tell friend from foe
you’ve done in my head tonight.
Tongue tied with ribbon
throat choked by pink bows
I can’t tell master from slave
you’ve done in my head ages ago.
888537605 ghosts haunted dreams
888537605 dreams slipped away
I can’t tell heaven from hell
you’ve done in my head today.
Song bird whistled tunes
vulture picked roadkill clean
I can’t tell high from low
you’ve done in my head it seems.
Of Two Minds
Emptied of prescription prayer
this vessel runneth over
with questions.
Titrated down step by step
this systems clean, pure
feeling fresh.
Which narcotics best regulate
my chemical reactions?
Asking for a friend,
not so I may avoid them.
Covered, my mirror is sealed
this may be a last reflection
before repossession.
Spiraled into manic thinking
this depression is frightening
if it means no more me
without me.
Out Of Season
Spitting out your seed
binging on watermelon wine
devouring this sugar baby
‘cause I’m ripe, juicy, tasty.
My has-been undercover lover
still marking territory on exes
your wet spots soaking through
thin cotton front lines.
I’ve a fat lip swelling
an anaphylactic reaction
to the napalm.
I’ve a hot welt rising
in the shape of your hate
across my backside.
Why are you returning
when there’s nothing left
between us
‘cept the green rind?
June 2025 Reflections
Hello and welcome to July! I hope you are well and finding joy often! Occasionally, I’ve decided to check in with either a blog post here or vlog update on my YouTube channel.
Our senior dog, HoneyCake, is experiencing a major decline. It leaves her confused at times, is negatively impacting her health, and has turned her sleep patterns upside down. This, of course, affects ours too. In addition, my own chronic illness and fatigue has left me a bit wiped out.
My productivity is at an all time low. This isn’t a complaint, merely my current reality. In the meantime, I will continue to do every thing in my power to alleviate my fur baby’s distress, make her comfy, and shower her with love and affection.
Update: As of the editing of this post, Honeycake has dramatically improved much to our relief and happiness. We accept that our time is limited and are soaking in these extra moments with her.
Continue reading “June 2025 Reflections”
Carmilla Dawn 